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30-Aug-2020 01:49

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And that’s just her public persona—at home, she’s fantastic in bed, a spectacular cook, loving, selfless, and devoted. He’s immersed in a fierce battle between his superhuman standards and his terror of being 40 and single—because 40 and single is not supposed to be part of The Total Package’s story.

Oh and she also speaks French, plays tennis, sings beautifully, reads voraciously and she’s a history buff. As long as anyone can remember, The New Lease On Life Guy had been dating his longterm girlfriend.

He’d also really appreciate it if his mother would stop setting him up on dates.

He imagines her often—gorgeous as they come, she turns heads; bursting with charm and charisma, she lights up every room she enters; she’s a brilliant rising star in her career and beloved by her many friends.

He never seemed that happy in the relationship, but everyone just assumed they would eventually get married.

Now, after a long and difficult breakup, The New Lease On Life Guy has reemerged with a bang and is suddenly acting like he just got called down on The Price Is Right.

He’s also not quite sure why everyone who knows him is trying to figure out “what the problem is.” His parents are worried, never wasting an opportunity to ask him if he’s been dating anyone.

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His friends want to help, setting him up on dates every chance they get.

But The Guy Who Peaked Too Early was just getting started.